A spectre is haunting our oceans - the spectre of the giant squid, the elusive octopus, but also quite significantly, those trying to keep these creatures under wraps. All the powers of those concerned about such dangerous conspiracy theories have entered into a determined alliance to locate this spectre: Cephalopod Squad, Dr. E. Baxter, Bounty hunter, Aggrocto, historians, and concerned citizens alike.
Where is the giant squid's lair? How long is it? How much does it weigh? How many live in the Bermuda Triangle? What does it eat? How many humans has it killed? Does it control human thought processes? If so, how? How fast can it swim? What is its direct relationship to the elusive squid who is an amazing escape artist? What makes these two creatures the intellectuals and fighters of the ocean? And what of its brethren octopus and cuttlefish?
Where and who are those members of the party in conspiracy who have not been decried by Cephalopod Squad, their contributors, and entities? How may this conspiracy be infiltrated and subverted?
Four things result from these facts and queries:
I. The giant squid has already been acknowledged by the Cephalopod Squad Members and Contributors to be itself a power.
II. The elusive octopus has already been acknowledged by the Cephalopod Squad Members and Contributors to be itself a power.
III. The association of conspirators has already been acknowledged by the Cephalopod Squad Members and Contributors to be itself an enemy and therefore an opposing power for bringing such detriment and evil to the world by furthering such secrecy.
IV. It is high time that the Cephalopod Squad should openly, in the face of the whole world, publish their views, their aims, their tendencies, and meet this nursery tale of the spectre of the giant squid with a manifesto by committee.
Be it further stated and understood that the Cephalopod Squad will not rest until:
I. The four-limbed species of this planet are free of Cephalopodan imperialism.
II. All squid and octopus infiltration of governing institutions (including the United Nations) has been purged.
III. Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of happiness no longer stop at the edge of dry land, but wash over the entire planet, yet even still to the very depths of the Marianas Trench.
IV. The Cuttlefish (AKA the Platypus of the Sea) gets straightened out.
To this end, Cephalopod Squad Members have assembled for a conference call and sketched this manifesto, to be published in the English, French, German, Italian, Flemish, and Danish languages.
Four Limbs Good, Eight Limbs Bad!